What broslikethissite missed

Posted on January 20, 2010

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Well, not exactly. But let me explain.

Last night, while on a recon mission in the Kroger bread aisle, I stood near a group of three guys. They joked among each other, saying things like “How you doin’, slam piece?” They proceeded to yell the words “SLAM PIECE!” repeatedly as I far-too-often stood within earshot. They laughed mightily. Were they aware of some secret meaning for the seemingly innocuous words that I didn’t understand?

No! No. Hell to the no.

A note to bros around the world: lots of other people, namely girls, know what slam pieces are. Girls read broslikethissite (if you’re anyone and haven’t seen it, http://www.broslikethissite.com. Seriously, go. I am ashamed to have made a generalization that doesn’t include you). More importantly, girls like broslikethissite. I wish my blog were as funny and observational as broslikethissite.

My Kroger mishap reminded me of New Year’s Day, when my brother and I laughed about the humorous accuracy of  broslikethissite and read the “#99 New Year’s Eve” entry. At that point, I thought of something broslikethissite hadn’t touched on: the inaccurate facebook profile picture. I don’t mean when people change their defaults to a flyer that promotes a cause or event. I mean when someone, for an extended period of time, changes his default picture to a picture of someone else.

I guess there’s a reason this concept hasn’t found its place among the hallowed ranks of broslikethissite. Maybe it simply isn’t bro enough.

Still, this curious internet epidemic, while gender-bending, gravitates significantly toward bros. Moreover, bros succeed the most favorably. Almost any of the small fraction of females who post misleading default pictures, make no mistake, is merely trying to appeal to bros. The remainder of us women, myself included, don’t understand the worth of the inaccurate default.

The inaccurate default can take many forms. Most frequently it’s an homage, dare I say bromage, to something or someone great.

FREQUENTLY USED FB PICTURE BROMAGES

1. Athletes, like

Tiger Woods

He who adapts a default picture of Tiger Woods is: a) under the impression that he is funny/original for pretending to actually honor Tiger Woods (LOL@sex rehab), or b) not-so-subtly returning the fistpump to Tiger for his glacier-sized libido.

 

Ron Artest

“Boozing at halftime?! Broh my God, this man is my idol! And he is passionate about spaying and neutering dogs!”

2. Inanimate/inhuman objects, like

The American Flag/Bald Eagle/Capitol building/”Join or Die” cartoon/any combination: Who was our nation’s first president? Right, Brorge Washington. Only men signed the Constitution. What is more bro than America?

*Mascots

RIP UGA VII. Bros around the nation mourned your loss.

3. Musicians, like N.W.A.: Hard. Just like every bro wishes he were. (Thank you, baby bro, for making this your default one time. Case in point–you fit the mold)

*In addition to rappers, 1970s musicians and perpetually stoned musicians are also acceptable. Fact: bros like weed.

 

Now, I don’t mean to say that this entry is worthy of broslikethissite–it’s not. But the inaccurate default is something that truly baffles me. There certainly are a number of nearly always hilarious and acceptable pseudodefaults that are used by someone to poke fun at a horrible photo taken of a friend, but for the most part, the bromage is a mystery to me.

 

 

I should really delete my facebook.

 

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