This is why I write.

Posted on July 26, 2010


Hello darlings!

It’s been so long, I know. I’d like to say that there’s a good reason for my brief estrangement with the blogosphere. A good answer I can give for that is Mad Men episodes online that have consumed my very uneventful days. A better answer is a severe case of writer’s block as of late.

And to be honest, tonight hasn’t brought me much more material than a case of sheer coincidence. I was sitting in our relatives’ condo in Florida, talking to my mom and aunt about the marvel and absurdity of technology these days, when the conversation about Googling oneself arose.

Naturally, I began to Google myself. Then, thanks to technology, Google told me what other things Melissa Buckman-related had been Googled.  One of those things was “Melissa Buckman blog.” Of course, I was like, “Oh ma gah! Tight! Someone Googled me to find my blog!”

Then I came upon the significantly less exciting results. One of the first results brought me to this link: a thread on IMDb (the Internet Movie Database) about “The Bang Bang Club,” a movie I saw in Cannes and hated. A movie the audience was also specifically asked by one of the film’s producers not to review. Per my professors’ encouragement and Michael Phillips‘ (God, that man is awesome) advice to have an opinion on a film and write something strong about it, though, I wrote a review of this film anyway. I posted it on my film review blog because I had to for my class, thinking nothing of it–I figured it was just a little blog-on-the-side/sure-to-disappear-when-soon-irrelevant-type of thing. Evidently not.

Here’s a teaser trailer for this movie (you might be able to pinpoint some things I said in the review just by watching these three minutes, by the way)

Welp… first I’m a college student and part of this film’s target demographic who happened to have a strongly negative opinion of it that happened to be posted on her dinky and heavily underdeveloped blog… Next thing I’m a meritless college student who needs to get laid and see the film again to witness its merit (see message board).

The point, though, is this: I was read. People read what I wrote and didn’t like it. Yeah, I was one of the only things out there, but I wrote something that said something they cared enough to react to. I registered for an IMDb account so I could write a several paragraphs-long, rational and calm reply to these haters about why I shouldn’t be completely discredited. Then my brother said something to me like, “How many times have you seen a film critic defend their review because people didn’t like it?”

What I had to say was dismissed by these anonymous readers, yes–but I wrote something genuine, and something which I’ll stand by. I know that the vast majority or perhaps the entirety of you guys don’t come to this blog to read my scathing film reviews, but I appreciate you checking to see what I have to say nonetheless. It means quite a bit to me.

Really. Thank you all, first-time readers included, for helping me realize how much I love to write.

I’m glad I didn’t have to bed every one of you to come to that conclusion.