Progress.

Posted on April 15, 2011

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As I write this, I am doing two significant things: 1) Listening to “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias 2) Sitting just about 80 hits short of 30,000. Use personal judgment to determine which concerns me more.

Anywho, I have a vow to upkeep, so I’m blogging.

(Not that you should expect much from me, since it’s Friday. Other than the whole friends-with-braces and kids-who-clearly-should-not-be-operating-a-vehicle thing, Rebecca Black made it clear that she’s not in college when she sang about waiting til Friday to “get down.”)

That being said, I’m coming today with something simple: a list. Seeing as how reaching 30,000 hits is my main goal for the day, I figured I’d make a list of other things I’d like 30,000 of.

10) Gallons of Minute Maid raspberry lemonade. I went to Schlotzky’s today (for the second time in four days, mind you), and as always, the raspberry lemonade was the proverbial cherry atop my sundae of a meal. (Is it acceptable to use the sundae analogy for other foods?)

9) Movie tickets. That ish is getting EXPENSIVE! Being a cinephile is almost as painful as listening to people refer to themselves as cinephiles in complete seriousness.

8 ) New Frank Ocean songs. One mixtape is not enough, Frank Ocean! I am currently obsessed/in lurve with the most suave member of OFWGKTA (hipster points??). Ladies–let’s be real. Who would not like to be serenaded by someone whose voice clearly has been beamed down directly from angels?

7 ) Free Dairy Queen blizzards. When life gets me down, Her Highness brings be back up. I recommend the strawberry golden Oreo.

6) Sassy gay friends. Preferably ones like this:

5) Bucks. Not dollars. Well–that too, I guess–I am itching for a way to get back to Cannes this summer. But the Buck I’m referring to is my pup/doggie husband/love of my life, Buck. He’s a Goldendoodle, and I would either like to make him immortal or clone him. To help you understand:

What’s not to love?

4) Bouquets of flowers. Like many (I hope?) girls, I have that wish of making everyone in the office jealous one day when my boyfriend/husband/partner sends me oodles of flowers. Or maybe it’s just my Selena Gomez fantasy.

3) Twitter followers. If you have Twitter and you’re a commoner, you understand my fantasy of having enough people care about anything that I say to get verified. The lengths I’d go for a blue check mark next to my name…

2) Unicorns. A whole fleet. I would be so cool. Make it happen, God/wizards.

1) MORE BLOG HITS!!! DUH! How cool would it be to get to 60 or 100 thousand?! Please, I beg of you, help me out. Pass me around, share me with your friends, even if they just see me once. This is all a metaphor. Not metaphor: share your favorite posts (there’s a button at the bottom!), send the link to my homepage, use word of mouth, whatever. Just give them a heads up that I don’t always talk about R&B, magical horses and sandwich shops.

Coming tomorrow: a photojournal of Steeplechase Date Day. God bless us, everyone.

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