I know, I know. I missed a day. But I was occupied, as you will soon understand.
Yesterday was my sorority’s Steeplechase Date Day. We went to Kingston, Ga., for the Atlanta Steeplechase horse race. It was nuts.
Knowing this would be the case, I set off to catalog the day’s events. Here is my unabridged journal, with some photo documentation peppered in:
9:24 a.m.: Dear Diary, we are drinking mimosas and eating doughnuts. We big pimpin’ with J. Roget (my homie). Technical difficulties have ensued w/ Jay. I am confident that everything will work out, though.
10:11 a.m.: Here we go! Adele is playing. I’m drinking a John Daly with Kyle. DJ Buckbeak on the 1’s and 2’s, BITCHES!
10:45 a.m.: I knew I should have put Phil Collins later on the playlist.
11:04 a.m.: “Unemployment line. Credit card declined. Did I not mention that I’m about to lose my mind?”-Fergie
12:10 p.m.: The bus smells like weed, but I’m pretty sure it’s just the hand sanitizer.
1:46 p.m.: We have been lost for at least an hour. But the world’s #1 Nicest Lady showed us the way. Holy Moses. I wish they would turn my playlist back on. Horses everywhere.
1:54 p.m.: I see a horse.
3:55 p.m.: It’s so windy.
4:50 p.m.: Dear Diary, I hate my life. Someone stole my sunglasses. I hope they die as punishment. Nonetheless, Kyle is the best date EVER! He made me feel better. [Redacted scribble]
5:09 p.m.: Dear diary, WE’RE BACK! We are calling my brother. Should be interesting.
(Update from Kyle) 7:03 p.m.: Meghan is wasted. Bubbles are everywhere. Melissa and I are cool! Taylor Gang or Kill Yourself!
Time unknown: Dear Diary, it’s me Meghan, and we are on our way home. I can’t see, but Kyle said that bubble are multiple, which means that Kyle is seeing [she then switched pens] bubbles. He is angry, when we get back we’re eating food. Today was successful. Many horses won races.
7:20 p.m.: My brother thinks I’m dating Kyle. Hahahahaha My brother thinks I’m drinking alcohol
The “happy couple”
(Ghost written by Elizabeth) 7:34 p.m.: My date has my hat. I am sad.
(Ghost written by Elizabeth) 7:35 p.m.: I’ve gotten my hat back, but I’m looking for my phone. Oh wait, I’m texting with it.
8:40 p.m.: Dear Diary, everyone underestimates alcohol. In fact, this one time, Liz buckled Meg’s shoe. This has been a weird day. Ppl buckled ppl’s shoes. Thanks everyone
2:56 a.m.: Haley R. punched Brannen (for being too tall). He deserved it. We met a YouTube sensation!
[This is the YouTube sensation we met. He was on Tosh.0. He was literally the first person we met when we got there. Please enjoy this NSFW (without headphones) video:]
3:03 a.m.: Josh is my BFF. He works at Yummy Bites. He has gross tattoos.
3:36 a.m.: Matt Stafford still isn’t the man. The night is winding to a close. It’s been spooky scary.