womp womp womp…!

Posted on April 23, 2011

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It’s been a few days.

Allow me to explain: when one finds oneself in a position wherein one sets a bar of humor and entertainment for oneself and one’s readership that becomes increasingly difficult to reach, one faces writer’s block from even the most minute setback.

Or in simpler terms: I had a total fart of a week, so the last thing I wanted to try and do was be funny/enlightening/moderately entertaining. But I figured that since it’s past 3 a.m. and I’ll be up this late for the next several nights writing papers and studying, I might as well do something blog-related.

And why not, in that case, focus on the highlights of the week?! Here goes…

Monday:

I had some temporary lapse from my fart week when I went to an advance screening of “Bridesmaids,” which I blogged briefly about in the below post. Ladies, go with your girlfriends to see this when it comes out! It’ll be the “Mean Girls” of your young adulthood. Gents, also go with your girlfriends to see this when it comes out! I know you loved “Mean Girls” too but are scared to admit it; this will be a film you’ll want to share your feelings for. If you’re a single gent and you just don’t want to feel emasculated when you see it, I’ll go with you! But I can’t guarantee that I won’t tell my friends that “It was TOTALLY a date. He’s TOTALLY into me.”

Tuesday:

I woke up on Tuesday morning to hate mail from an unfortunately named gentleman, Pax Cumming, from Colorado. He sent me a Facebook message that said “ur pathetic,” to which I replied “THANKS!!!!!!!!!!” Yes, Pax Cumming, thank you for allowing my first hate mail experience to be so absurdly unwarranted.

Wednesday:

Humpday fail. Wednesday was a total dud. I felt bad–like, B.B. King “The Thrill is Gone” bad. So, being the girly girl that I typically am not, I came to my own rescue with white zinfandel and a bouquet of flowers. Sad? Yes. Successful? One billion percent.

And yes, if you’re wondering, I most certainly was drinking white zinfandel from my roommate’s GOP Tervis Tumbler.

Thursday:

1. Those of you who have been longtime readers might remember my post about the scathing review of “The Bang Bang Club” that I wrote and its consequent feature on an IMDb message board in which members of the film crew said that I needed “to get laid and then see the movie again.” Imagine my pleasure when all the film reviews I read that came out on Thursday, including this one from the A.V. Club said virtually the exact same things I did. I WIN, BANG BANG CLUB! I WIN! Maybe I’m not just an attention-seeking amateur journalist after all!

2. Heil Groupon! Free Weaver D’s hit the spot. No comfort food seems to heal the soul more effectively than mashed taters. Top those taters with chicken and gravy and you’ve got sunshine, rainbows and angels in your belly and your heart.

Friday:

1. Making it through the week. Considering the rest of my highlight reel for Friday, it was clearly worth the wait.

2. Eating Barberito’s. Once again, food is a constant source of pleasure in my life. Clearly my future is promising.

3. SNUGGLES WITH BUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My doggie husband was so excited to see me. I can only dream that one day I will meat a human with similar feelings.

4. Perhaps the greatest part of my day was when I discovered Frank Ocean’s recently released mixtape, “The Lonny Breaux Collection.” 63 new songs! SIXTY-THREE! It’s like he read my blog last week and wanted to put me 29,937 tracks closer to my dream iTunes library. If there’s a Guinness World Record for swag, Frank Ocean has definitely broken it. PBR&B 4 lyfe. Check out “Acura Integurl” below:

Now it’s Saturday and I’m starting anew. Oh wait–I have to write a paper and a column by tomorrow. Ttfn.

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Posted in: My Sad Life